Bouncing Back

I started Bounce Energy Healing because the time has come for me to tell my story and to help others in a profound way. I wish to pass along wisdom I’ve gained from years of suffering.

I needed a place to express my creative force that keeps me motivated and moving. I want others to realize we all have incredible power to heal and Bounce back from anything. I speak my story from my perspective and my perspective only. I support each individual in whatever empowers them to be the best, healthiest, and happiest version of themselves. I wish for a world where everyone has access to every possible way to heal. Freedom and choice of what works for you while being kind to others. What works for you does not work for everyone. A large part of my own personal healing is sorting through all the information out there and knowing if it is for me or not. Here is a very brief background of my story. This is MY truth.

I am a sensitive soul, an Empath. I have healed myself. I have pulled myself out of depressions so dark that had no thought, feeling, any inkling of being real. I still had a tiny twinkle of a light that I held on to for dear life and used that light to guide me out of a few black holes into an incredibly illuminous life. It was not easy. It was not glamorous. It was not by any means a privileged life full of fancy island retreats, spa days, or an all organic diet. Although, I have nothing against these practices and believe many of these therapies are wonderful and I support them. My point is, what I did to heal from a life of mental illness, pain, loss, grief, and sickness was find my own power. Absolutely, meditation, yoga, acupuncture, Reiki, family constellation work, a few retreats and classes, humor, and MUSIC helped me recognize what I needed to do to heal. They are all phenomenal ways to activate our own unique powers. However, it was myself actively changing and breaking patterns that pulled me out of a life of continual suffering into a life of health, joy, and abundance. I now practice Reiki because it has been the most healing, enlightening, gentle, comforting, and pure love way for me to heal. It is a practice that came very naturally to me. I want to share this with anyone who is open to it.

I’ve had some intense diagnoses in my past. Bipolar I, Major Depression, Panic Disorder, Depersonalization, Derealization, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Fibromyalgia, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Gastroesophageal Reflux Disorder, Gastroparesis, Vestibulitis, Vulvodynia, Endometriosis, BRCA1 gene positive, Chronic Sinusitis, Allergies both environmental and food, canker sores, migraines, recurrent flus, colds, stomach bugs, and then all the random flare ups that doctors labeled as “unknown” or a “weird autoimmune disease”. Phew! Nothing like writing it all out to make you realize how much you’ve overcome. I’m sure there’s some I’m not currently thinking of, but those were the big life altering illnesses I listed there!

I lost my mother when I was 13 years old to ovarian cancer. My mom dealt with her own emotional and mental health battles. She internalized a lot. I know so much of her cancer was from this. It was not her fault; she did not create this in herself knowingly. She did not know how to even go about resolving this. It was a pattern she inherited. She did everything she could to save her life. Back in the early 1990s she only knew of surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation, so that’s what she did. I watched her deteriorate quickly from radiation and chemotherapy. I know those treatments exacerbated her suffering and ultimate death. I witnessed it, I will not allow anyone to alter my perception of that, no one witnessed her suffering from my child eyes and heart but me. Chemotherapy and radiation were torture on my beloved mother, but was what she needed to do at the time. I never in my life have witnessed anyone fight so hard to live and endure so much visible torture. I say visible because I, as an outside person could see it. My own invisible torture for 20+ years following her death was horrific as well. Suffering is not a competition in any way. To compete over who has it worse is like competing over who has it best. It’s personal and should never be judged. My mother was incredibly strong and what she taught me through her suffering I will forever be grateful for. She had incredible faith. She knew there was a bigger force at work than she or I could ever comprehend at the time. My incredible faith in myself, God, humanity, the Universe, and life I know came from her and the incredible people before her. Our ancestors. I truly believe the BRCA1 gene mutation is a marking of a warrior in our line. Cancer has been how it played out in the past; it does not need to play out this way any longer. I will explain what I’m talking about in a later blog. It is a deeply misunderstood topic and I want to be clear that this is my story and my experiences. My beliefs are not everyone else’s beliefs and that is perfectly okay. It is time I express my truth, as they say now!

I was heavily medicated for years for my mental and physical health. I am grateful for what it taught me. In all honesty, no medication ever improved my health or quality of life. I took it because that is what was prescribed by my psychiatrists and doctors. I trusted them. I was desperate to stop hurting and I did not want to go back into disabling depression after getting out. But the medication did not prevent me from going back into depression. I went through four major depressions, each time getting different medications trying to lift it. No medication would lift it. I had to go deeper into who I was and the trauma that created it in the first place. I had exceptional psychiatrists and doctors, and I had horrible psychiatrists and doctors. The exceptional practitioners listened to me and tried their best to understand my sensitivities. I didn’t understand my sensitivity, how could anyone else understand them? This is why I now honestly do not blame any of them for what happened to me as a result of overmedicating and a flawed healthcare system. It wasn’t them, they did exactly as they were taught. The problem is that those leading the education and research have no way of knowing how each person will react. Western medicine focuses on what works for a majority (or what they think is majority) of the population. It is not necessarily focused on the “rare” or sensitive people. But there are a lot of us, we’re starting to speak up louder. Also, the funding tends to get cut from studies that could potentially be extraordinary. Of course, there’s people getting paid off to keep quiet and some getting kickbacks too. Healthcare is deeply flawed, however there is a place for it and it can help many. It just didn’t help me, other than motivate me to look elsewhere to alternative methods. It is these alternative methods that helped me in deep, profound ways. For that, I’m incredibly grateful to western medicine for letting me down. It was part of my journey to get where I’m at now.

I dove into full on alternative therapy mode after I nearly died from a severe reaction to Prednisone. I had the worst lingering effects from a six-day dose of that drug that had me wishing every day for eight months straight that I was dead. Death would have been far, far easier. But death was not the answer for me, I was going to heal this shit even if that meant dying! This would never be passed down to anyone else in my family. Or projected out on to others. Being so sensitive I was so quiet for many years because I knew those around me did not understand. I could always pick up on others energy even in deep depression. It was time to fully and completely feel, honor, and release this pain and trauma. I couldn’t eat or drink water without severe stomach pain. I lost 22 pounds in less than two months after taking Prednisone. My GI Doctor thought I could stand to loss the weight, by the way. She was one of those horrible experiences doctors I mentioned earlier. There’s more, oh there is more, but I’ll share and get into those stories in another blog. I also had such extreme panic 24/7 that I could not believe could possibly be anxiety. It was far too intense for anxiety; I saw every kind of doctor to try and get a diagnosis. They just don’t give “Spiritual Awakenings” a diagnosis other than Intense Panic Disorder, or some other mental illness label. It was incredibly frustrating and terrifying. I had non-stop heart palpitations, pain, chest pain constantly, I couldn’t breathe. Hot flashes, vomiting, almost hypomanic it was so severe. I also had this constant roaring in my left ear. It drove me completely bonkers. It was complete hell, never a break or moment of relief. I had absolutely no sense of what it felt like to feel calmness. I hated that drug and what it did to me during those eight months straight of Intense Panic Disorder. Now I’m incredibly grateful for it because it was exactly what I needed to get my life in alignment. I jokingly and lovingly refer to Prednisone as my own personal “Ayahuasca tea” or the “red pill” from the Matrix reference. It sent me into a realm that I certainly was not fully prepared for. I thank God for those I met, healers who helped me understand what was happening. Had they not been there, I would not be here. I now have a very supportive backing of doctors, healers, friends, and family. It is not a path you go into without preparation and trustworthy guidance from those who have been through similar experiences. I did not get the choice to prepare for it really, I was thrown in full force. A lot of us are. I know now this was my destiny. This was my path I agreed to before I even came to the Earth. Some call this a Soul Contract. I have known since an early age that I wanted to understand. Well, in order to gain understanding you must go through some pretty deep shit. I’m not wasting these gifts. I went through too much pain, suffering, trauma, and understanding to hold my voice back any longer. I know I’ll get criticized, ridiculed, cut down. Hell, I already have! People have problems when you start living for yourself, they no longer control you for their benefit. People also have a difficult time with the fact that others see and view things differently from them. More on boundaries and perspectives in a later blog… I’m really building the suspense here for future blogs!

So many outside sources telling me what to do… I was told I was so deeply depressed that I would never function on my own. I would need to live in a group home my entire life. I was told I was one of the most severe cases of depression and depersonalization the psychiatrist had ever seen. He did not think I would ever come out of it. I was told my gastroparesis was so severe I’d have to get injections in my duodenum to get my stomach moving and I would never be able to have a normal diet. I’ve basically been told I was a doomed to a life of suffering or I would just die at a young age. That’s just an extremely short cliff notes version from what I’ve heard from my healthcare practitioners! I’ve heard so many outside opinions of myself and health that it took years to figure myself out. Family, friends, everyone and their “father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate” (Spaceballs reference, gotta laugh!), basically have told me what I should be doing with my health and life! I was so absorbed in what society and others thought I should be, I had no idea who I was. I’m still figuring myself out! We always will have something to figure out about ourselves. But I’m super healthy and happy now. The intensity has decreased substantially. I know myself incredibly well. I have been totally off all medications for my physical and mental health since October 2017. I have not even taken a Tylenol since 2015. I look within myself to what I need to do to heal. It is not something I learned to do overnight, although it’s always been there waiting for me to discover. I have mostly stopped listening to outside “experts” and look to the only expert that truly and deeply knows me, and that’s ME.

I want to thank you for reading my first official blog entry on my page, Bounce Energy Healing. I have written another as a guest blogger for another site, but this one is my first written for my site. I plan on writing many more blogs, at least one a month going forward. I have a lot to say. I am a firm believer in everyone speaking up and telling their personal experiences as they feel necessary. Chances are there are many who will resonate with what you say. There are many who will not, and that is fine too! We each have our own journey to go on and story to write. Every time someone speaks their truth and experience, it inspires others to do the same. Or at least allows others to feel motivated and accepted just the way they are. It helps us evolve. We all have purpose. Each life has meaning. There are no right or wrong ways to go about healing. There’s a perspective on what way is the best way from any and every person out there. You must find what works for you. You are the one running the show, your life. Wherever you may BE in your journey, there will always BE healing. I wish you all love, light, kindness, and health.

Kara is a Motivational Energy Coach and Owner of Bounce Energy Healing LLC. She provides energy healing coaching using Reiki, music and sound therapy, creative expression, and emotional exploration to help others recognize their own unique gifts and individual power to heal themselves.

If you’d like to contact Kara or schedule a session, please Bounce on over to her website:
https://alwaysbehealing.com